Week 1 Quick Hitters

Caylin +45

I guess the odds-makers in Vegas weren’t lookin’ under their snouts when they made the line fer the UNLV vs Howard game. Musta forgot to figure in that Newton boy that takes the snaps for the Bison. He’ll be worth a good 40 or so points next time.

"You boys've been bad
 sayeth the Lord"

Ditto for the Baylor - Liberty point spread. I'm assumin' GOD was disappointed with the Baptist subdivision's wanderin’ away from the Word and sent in his non-denominational Christian army to reenact the David and Goliath thing (pick up the Good Book read 1st Samuel startin' around the 17th chapter or so for more background).

Ladies & Gentlemen, 
Furman Head Coach, 
Clay Hendrix!

Granted NC State was gettin’ an unusual amount of smoke blown up their skirt before the season by all the nerds who think they know somethin’ ‘bout sports. And frankly, they looked purty solid against South Carolina even though they lost a close one. But from the reaction on social media by the NC State extremists after the loss you’d think they were expectin’em to be in the Final Four! *“Fire Doeren before he leaves the field” and “Kill the kicker” were just a few of the irrational reactions. I say put the hara-kiri knives down and back away for a week or two. Wait… they may be right about the kicker but what coachin’ giant is gonna be lured to NC State as advancement to their career? Who’s the current coach at Furman?

2020 FSU starting QB 

Both startin’ QB’s from FSU and UGA went down with knee injuries this week. How long before we see a rule that QB’s haveta wear pink jerseys and are off limits to any contact ‘cept for the 2-hand tag above the waist?  Stop laughin’. Two hand tag is gonna happen and Terry Bradshaw, Joe Namath, and Brett Favre are comin' outta retirement to cash in!

Fear The Turtle!

Texas preseason #23? What the hay?? This is a team who’s last 3 years have been 6-7, 5-7, 5-7 and all of a sudden they get a new coach and it’s worth a preseason #23? In case you pollsters weren’t aware, they still have the same shitty players! Shows how badly the pundits want Texas to be relevant again and how much cash the Longhorn Network produces to payoff the voters to put’em in the top 25. Hope you enjoyed yer week in the polls. It’ll be yer last time this year. Hook’em!

Not that anyone really cares but I feel compelled to make an observation ‘bout the week 1 performance of a player from my alma mater, UNCheat. It’s obvious why Brandon Harris got the heck outta Baton Rouge. He can’t play QB! It's no wonder Les got fired if this was the best quarterback he recruited. This was his startin’ signal-caller? In his first game for the Tar Heels he looked totally lost... and the dude's a grad transfer! It's not like this was his first time takin' snaps at the college level!!

If there's a silver linin' for Brandon it's that he’ll now have plentya time to concentrate on his
gra-gee-ate studies since he won’t have to worry about ‘bout those pesky game plannin’ activities for Saturdays. Oh yeah, if Fedora still plays two QB’s after that train wreck openin' performance by his 5th year graduate transfer, well.... see *NC State comment above concernin’ what to do with the coach!! Who’s the current coach at Furman?

Silver lining - You can text while your on the sideline....

...and still have time to get one of these.

               

Looks like it’s comin’ down to the usual suspects for college football dominance. “Bama, Climpson, Ohio State and a team to be named later'll be playin’ for the Dr. Pepper trophy (who, by the way, need to rethink those Larry the drink vendor ads) until or unless somebody pulls a rabbit outta their backside. Stop laughin'. Rabbits happen.