Hatin' On Bobby A Bit

I don’t know ‘bout y'all but I don’t have a real problem watchin’ a Bobby Petrino coached team get their asses handed to’em. In last night’s loss to Climpson I got a bonus watchin' The Bobster tryin’ to chew out that Wooden Indian disguised as a side judge (here’s a link if you didn’t get to see it https://www.sbnation.com/college-football/2017/9/16/16317032/clemson-louisville-bobby-petrino-absolutely-furious).  This official’s face NEVER changed expressions even though Coach’s face was turnin’ redder'en a pickled beet while he was 4-letter wordin’ that guy’s ears off!

Mt Rushmore Stand-In Candidate

I’m officially nominatin’ this ref as a candidate fer one of the Mount Rushmore temporary stand-ins. We'll need him and three other people whose expressions never, ever change to temporarily stand in front of the blank spaces between the time when we erase the mugs of those racist, bigoted, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamaphobic, etc-phobic losers up there now and when we whittle the faces of some deservin’ folks in their places who, up til now, have been overlooked and discriminated against because of sumpin’ we have or haven’t thought of yet. But, as usual, I digress.

Bobby and Jessica (is she 15 yet?)

BTW - Nothin’ against Lamar and Louisville, I just seem ta have a burr under my saddle fer Bobby. It’s really hard to believe any school would hire this guy knowin’ how he ran out on the Falcons durin’ the season (seemed like it was at night too) and 'bout that little motorcycle mishap he had down in Fayetteville…oh yeah, while totin’ his girlfriend around on the backseat… and oh yeah, tried to cover it all up with some lame-ass story he made up while standin’ in front of the press wearin’ a neck brace and some road rash on his face!! 

All I gotta say is the dude can obviously out-coach any university’s distaste for his moral deficiencies. I reckon’ as long as yer puttin' up enough wins to keep the booster money flowin’ in the right direction the pinheads that run these joints don’t really give a shit if you’re Mother Teresa, Charles Manson, or Bobby Petrino!

Guess that's Bobby's sign for "need 2 babes, Harry"!

Can you imagine his recruitin’ pitch to the parents of Harry High School? I’m thinkin’ it’d go sumpin’ like… “Yeah, we’d love to have Harry come play fer the Falcons… uh, I mean the Cardinals, sorry.  Anyway, after practices I can show Harry the Kentucky countryside. He and I can tool around on some of the motorcycles I own. All Harry'll need to do is pick us up a coupla drop-dead, hottie co-eds that know how to keep their traps shut about hangin’ out with Harry and the HBC “ (that’s Head Ball Coach for those of you who need me to field dress it for ya). “But hey, if these bimbettes fergit the deal and start chinwaggin' to the press or university, or post some nasty, unfounded rumors on social media… well, needless to say, I got some real life experiences dealin’ with those kinda lyin’ bee-atch-es and already have us a plan to make’em wish they’d never tried screwin’ over Coach Bobby and yer boy!”

Laughing all the way to the bank

Bobby continues, “I’m pretty sure neither St. Mark Richt nor the Devil himself, Nick Satan, is comin’ in here with that kinda CYA plan fer Harry. Those two'll be blowin’ smoke ‘bout Harry gettin’ an education and bein’ a part of somethin’ that’s bigger than himself. That’s all a buncha pie-in-the-sky, gong show bull shit! I’m here talkin’ reality and I’m tellin ya… there ain’t nothin’ bigger than Harry at Louisville!! "By the time Harry’s finished with his 3 or 4 years he’ll either be a good enough baller to make millions in the NFL or skilled enough at gamin’ the system that he can run for public office and make millions offa scammin’ the public! Either way, you and Harry are gonna be laughin' all the way to the bank! So, are ya gonna play fer one of these pretend scam artists or come here and get a legit edge-ah-ma-ka-shun from The Real Deal, Bobby Petrino? That’s what I thought, sign here.”  😀