If Sarah Fuller, the only qualified substitute kicker available to the Vanderbilt football team for the last 2 games of the 2020 season after their starter went down with an ingrown nail in his plant-foot-pinkie-toe, ain't the poster-girl for a Vandy social justice ad campaign, then I can smoke dope, eat soap, and float home in a bubble! I got a chance to interview Sarah after the season (in my own head) and here are some of my take-aways:
She was disappointed about her first game vs Missouri which only gave her a shot at one kick off and no FG or XP attempts. Accordin' to every media source who covered or didn't cover the game, she deftly executed the pre-planned, 30-ish yard squib kick and ran the hell off the field perfectly, just as she was coached. I could tell she was bummed not bein' allowed to snot-bubble one of those Mizzou pusses to show'em what "Play Like A Girl" really means.
Sarah was vibe-bombed again the very next week when her game vs the Georgia Bulldogs got cancelled caus'a COVID. I heard the Bulldog team members were relieved as they had already secretly taken a vote not to play Vandy if there were even a popsicles chance vs a flamethower of Sarah "The Silverback" Fuller gettin' in the game to handout the asswhoopins they heard she was capable of.
She finally got a chance to show-off her extraordinary, female athletic talents by nailin' a coupla 20 yd XP's against Tennessee in her final game! No one, includin' the other two kickers on the Vandy team who hadn't missed an XP all year, has ever split the uprights more perfectly!
When asked why her mysoginistic, interim head-coach, Todd Fitch, didn't allow her to kick-off or attempt either of the two FG's Vandy tried versus the Vols (a 39 and 54 yarder), Sarah said, "With team unity and comeraderie in mind, I told Todd to let Pierson (Cooke) have a shot at playin', even though he ain't as good as me. I also didn't realize how physically and emotionally exhaustin' it was gonna be posin' as Vanderbilt's social justice puppet (which, in retrospect, did take quite a bit of focus off our 0-9 football season) and also puttin' myself through all that media attention I so desperately wanted. In the end, I was just outta gas after the XP's and needed a blow."
So, the bottom line is Sarah proved she could make a 20 yd XP, execute a 30 yard squib kick and get off the field before any actual football started takin' place, and...oh yeah... make a helluva halftime speech without gettin' her ass handed to her by the other players on the team (a fundamental problem that speaks a lot to their winless record... but I digress as usual). But she ain't "woman" enough to kick-off into the end zone like most dude college kickers nor has FG range longer than the 38 yards stated in the article below (how 'bout the shortest Vandy FG attempt vs Tennessee was a 39 yarder, just a touch out of her 38 yd range, DRAT!)
https://www.wjhl.com/sports/us-world-sports/she-scores-fuller-kicks-2-extra-points-for-vandy-vols-win/
I'm not sure who's idea this was, but if it were meant to be the best example of the physical equality of women and men in the sportin' world, Vandy either has idiots in their administration and and coaching staffs OR chose an ad agency equivalent to their 0-fer 2020 football season!
It's only a matter of time before some college diplomat comes up with the idea that a girl extra point kick is worth 2 points. Then you will need girls on every team. What great unity and camaraderie there will be....surely not equality. Nice write up Whitecorner.
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