Dear Mr. McCants

 Dear Rashad:

     I'm a Tar Heel alum like you and wanted to express my concerns 'bout your recent, sudden appearances in the media. I understand you've been in LA takin' actin' lessons so maybe this is yer feeble attempt at a live audition. If it is, go to the actin' school and ask for a refund. But I believe after yer fall from NBA grace to hoopin’ it up for Uberlandia Tenis Clube of the NBB (that'll be yer Novo Basquete Brasil league) looks suspiciously like you're tryin' to become somewhat relevant again by goin' on every radio and TV show that'll have you and blame the lack of education you didn't acquire on someone other than yerself. Gettin' an education is kinda like eatin' at a buffet. You actually have to scoop somethin' up and put it on yer plate to eat it. It dudn't come with a Nanny and a bottle.

     It seems as though you and all the other self-indulged, crybaby athletes of the 21^st Century have been watchin’ too much politics on yer IPads and aren't gonna let a “good crisis go to waste”. I get that by today's world standard it's in vogue to extort money from one group of folks by another group of folks by blamin' the extortees for the extorters problems. You know, the poor blamin' the rich, the illegal immigrants blamin' legal citizens, those who don't wanna pay for contraception blamin' those who pay for it, etc, etc... And I’m sure you were thinkin’ 'bout how you were gonna disguise this as bein' the next Martin Luther King, Jr. or some other civil rights icon but it’s as obvious as the tattoos all over yer arms that yer more focused on notoriety and blackmail than actually fixin’ any NCAA exploitation “problems” you think exist.

     You mighta been able to gin up some believers if you coulda gotten ANY of yer North Carolina teammates to back up yer blabberin’, but NOT ONE of'em took the bait and now you just keep gettin’ more and more unbelievable every time you open yer piehole!

     I saw where you hopped back on Sirius radio and, in an interview with Mark Packer, said UNC was gonna cut you a personal check for $10 million and the NCAA was gonna pony up $300 million simoleons cause of how badly both of'em felt about exploitin’ you while an undergrad at Chapel Hill! Do you know how STOOPID that sounds?!??? Actually, stoopid or not, I hope you get it cause I’ll be first in line to collect my ransom check (which should include a good 30 years of interest)!!

     Really? No, REALLY??? Who’s zoomin’ who here? You went to college to audition for the NBA and North Carolina's a helluva place to do that! Don’t get me wrong, yer a pretty good player and spent some time in the show so you’ve got some game. But that narcissistic, otherworldy attitude you brung with you, the one everyone’s gettin’ a first-hand peek at now that you just can’t seem to shut the hell up, shortened yer career to an unremarkable 4 years. If the Timberwolves wouldnt've invested a 14^th round draft choice and the money that goes along with it you'da been gone a lot sooner. Oh well, as usual, I digress.

     So we, the idiotic public, are s'posed to believe:
1) You went to Carolina for an education, which just happen to include the NBA audition, and somehow you weren’t involved in decidin’ what classes to take?
2) And now, upon reflection,  yer just figgerin' out how upset you shoulda been about whata waste of yer time it was to have taken all those “paper” AFAM classes and whatever else Roy Williams and his henchmen mandated?
3) And somehow it was an exploitation of yer classroom talents 'cause the Facists in the basketball office made you turn in papers written for you by a tutor?

     WHOA, I guess you were right when you paraphrased Jalen Rose’s statement about his feelin' like an “indentured servant” durin' his time at Michigan. Oh yeah, I also read where you related yer college years as feelin' like you were in “jail”. Man, that sucks for you! And BTW, there's alotta YOU goin' on here, ain't it?

      WOW!! You were seriously bein' exploited! Not havin’ a say 'bout what classes to take, never havin’ to go to the classes they made you take, havin’ tutors plagiarize yer essays for you, and all the while UNC has you locked up in a 5 x 7 cell and is cashin’ checks they could only earn with you in attendance.

     Listen Jackwagon, first of all, and most importantly, no one made YOU or anybody else play basketball or any other sport at any NCAA institution. You weren’t an indentured servant or an inmate. You coulda slinkedl yer sorry ass back under the rock from which you crawled and gone back to doin' whatever you wanted to do, at any time, with no penalty. Now that I think about it, you didn’t have to go at all. You coulda gone straight from high school to the NBA or just skipped the b'ball sabbatical and gone straight into McDonald's French Fryin' Legion as a non-commissioned officer! So save the suggestion of slavery until it actually applies cause yer devaluin’ the meanin’ of a bad practice that many folks have fought against, and some have died, to abolish.

     Secondly, if you wanted an education then, as badly as you are tellin’ us now, you had every opportunity to decide what classes to take (and, BTW, attend) to pursue yer degree of choice. I’m willin’ to bet even Ol’ Roy and his corrupt gang of coaches weren’t gonna keep you from gettin' that pre-med degree you’ve always dreamed about!

     So, why didn’t you go to class? And why did you allow someone else to write yer papers for you? You can blow smoke up my ass about bein’ young and naïve but that’s no excuse. You were old enough to vote for the President of the United States and, in return, he could send yer ass to Afghanistan, or Iraq, or wherever the war du jour happens to be. Am I also s'posed to believe you were mature enough to cash NBA checks but not mature enough to decide what major to pursue, attend the classes, and make the effort to do the work??? PUH-LEESE!!

     We all know what’s goin’ on here pretty boy. You’ve become insignificant and can’t stand to be outta the limelight. You are a Dennis Rodman in the makin’. My bet is we're gettin' ready to have a ringside seat to watch you digress into this inconsequential, tattooed, pierced, ballin’ with a communist dictator piece of human debris. Or maybe you'll become the savior of all the innocent, naïve college kids who attend these NCAA Gulags at the expense of bein' exploited. I’ll be interested to see where they erect the statue in your honor. Probably rename the Dean Dome, the Rashad McCants Center for Fairness.

     The bullet-point bottom line is this:

-        - The NCAA has a monopoly on college sports right now. If you want to join their Country Club, you play by their shitty rules. If you don’t want to join their Club, don’t. Just don’t join for the NBA audition, stay there until you’re draftable, and then cry about it 10 years after it’s over because you crave attention and money.

- If you want to create yer own Club with yer own shitty rules, do it. There’s a free market out there and if there’s anyone who believes the bullshit that’s freely flowin' outta yer mouth even half as much as you, it should be a snap to have it up and runnin’ in no time.

Now either bring forward somethin’ more than accusations so we can collect OUR money and YOU can save the college athletics world, or just shut up and quit makin’ an ass outta YERSELF!

                                                                                                  Yours Truly,
                                                                                                  
                                                                                                   WC